Treatment one is done!

After getting my echocardiogram results (great results--my heart is strong) from the oncologist yesterday, I had my first chemo treatment. It was a piece of cake. Big comfy chair and plenty of time to relax and read. It didn't hurt a bit. Afterwards I was able to go to school for a creative writing meeting. It was great to see people I haven't seen for a while. Some are graduating with me in a few weeks and some are going on for another year so it made me feel very good to be able to do that. When I got home I still felt fine and was able to walk the dog with my husband.

This morning I woke up feeling great and went for a two-mile run at the gym. Time to study. Still have plenty of work to do before graduation . . .

Explaining the bulldog

My surgeon gave me a pep talk last week. He said those who are aggressive and take on the fight will do better. Those people are the bulldogs. I want to do better. I am the Bulldog.

T -2

Two more days to go until I begin my treatments. I feel that I should be doing certain things--like cleaning the bathroom and dusting the furniture. Those aren't the things that I'm doing though.

Yesterday I went to Disneyland. I wanted to do something fun. Disneyland is not exactly my favorite thing in the world to do, but we had tickets. I couldn't think of anything else to do to pull me away from the list of household chores that I thought I should be checking off. I tried to have fun, but I found myself looking at women's hairstyles and thinking about how my hair is all going to fall out in a few weeks. Then I actually looked at their breasts and thought about what size implants I might get after my mastectomy.

So it wasn't a day completely free of cancer thoughts. But there were times during the day that I stayed in the moment. It is pretty difficult not to be in the moment when you're being thrust through space on Space Mountain or the Matterhorn or getting soaked on Splash Mountain. So I'm glad I went to Disneyland yesterday. And I got a new Tinkerbell hoodie which made me happy and somehow more in the spirit of the day.

Before Chemo

I start my first chemo treatment this Wednesday. That is if my heart is healthy enough to take it which we will find out on Tuesday. I will be on dose-dense adriamycin/cytoxan for two months and then will get Taxol for two more months. A month after chemo is finished I plan to have a mastectomy--possibly bilateral plus reconstruction.

I will try to blog my way through this experience as often as possible. I know it helps me to read others' blogs of their chemo/surgical experiences, so I hope the same for my blog.

Coincidentally I am finishing my last two weeks of college at the same time I begin my treatment for breast cancer. The timing is both good and bad. Good because the majority of my work is behind me and my teachers are all being wonderful and understanding. Bad because it is taking some of the fun out of finishing what has been a very long journey. The important thing is I am finishing my B.A. . . . finally and that I am beginning my fight against the disease . . . finally.